What happened in Charlottesville is truly disgusting, disgraceful, and appalling. Trump’s response to what happened was too little, too late, and wildly disingenuous. He does not care about the people of this country. Anyone who pretended that racism and anti semitism was a thing of the past in this country has hopefully had their eyes opened.
It was all too much,
each day the heavy weight
of continuing on waited
to crush her,
knowing her arms were too weak to
lift the load above
her head once
She couldn’t hold it off
It had hung there for
far too long,
teasing it’s imminent
Her body shook,
the power of 1906
from the inside out,
until she lay
frozen by the power of it’s
The weight dangled
above her eyes,
shaken loose by
if that even
she didn’t know.
and closed her eyes,
and held her arms
out to the sides,
her hands facing the sky,
begging for it,
wanting for it to obliterate her,
just this time.
Original Poetry: © Kelsey H. 5.4.17
I genuinely feel like things will never get better, and it is getting harder and harder by the day to stay positive, I’m trying but I feel like I’m truly drowning tbh.
“There is a sadness in this world, for we are ignorant of many things. Yes, we are ignorant of many beautiful things — things like the truth. So sadness, in our ignorance, is very real. The tears are real. What is this thing called a tear? There are even tiny ducts — tear ducts — to produce these tears should the sadness occur. Then the day when the sadness comes — then we ask: “Will this sadness which makes me cry — will this sadness that makes me cry my heart out — will it ever end?” The answer, of course, is yes. One day the sadness will end.”
Log Lady, Twin Peaks (1990)
Thinking you’ve pulled yourself out it, but realizing you’ve relapsed and fallen back into the abyss of sadness. And choosing to try to pull yourself out of it tomorrow. Again.
I’m just so fucking sad and disappointed in myself and life and everything. I have worked so hard to get my BA and my MA, I’ve gone to three universities, I’ve worked a bunch of part time, minimum wage jobs, I literally moved to a different continent to get an affordable education and I come back here and I apply to job after job after job and I hear NOTHING back from anyone and I am at the end of my rope tbh. I can’t stay in this town anymore I want to die most of the time when I’m here there is NOTHING here for me or anyone else, it’s a dead end and it’s filled with townies who have zero ambition and Stepford Wives who are one more shot of botox away from looking like real, actual goddamn robots and I just HAVE to get OUT of here. I want to be a writer, I need to network and get out there and that’s why I am so desperately trying to get to California or New York or somewhere that feels like LIFE is actually happening because let me tell you what it’s NOT happening here. When I boarded my flight in London in September to come back here (after applying for jobs in England for MONTHS and hearing nothing) I took a Xanax and drank two mini bottles of Spanish wine and still had a panic attack as I wept because I KNEW I’d be trapped here and I’d never get out and once again my instincts were right.
I am drowning. And there’s no lifeguard on duty.
“I guess I’ve still got some more healing to do.”
— The Darjeeling Limited (2007)
People don’t like to admit that they’re lonely, and they don’t like to talk about loneliness in general, but maybe if we talked about it more, fewer people would feel so alone.
I wish all of you peace and hope as we navigate this time together as a nation, and a people.
“I knew it wasn’t too important, but it made me sad anyway.”
“You’ll feel so homesick that you’ll want to die, and there’s nothing you can do about it apart from endure it. But you will, and it won’t kill you.”
Go Your Own Way: Fleetwood Mac