Had this blog for two weeks! Mental. Thanks everyone that follows, I appreciate it! Feeling better tonight, going to start the job hunt again tomorrow morning, wish me luck and send me good Cali vibes please xx
Apply for another job in SoCal, crossing your fingers that this one works out because you love the company and really, really, want to work there! Good vibes, good vibes.
“and if you have the ability to love
love yourself first.”
Charles Bukowski, “how to be a great writer”
I have applied to so many different jobs in so many different cities, with different resumes and individual cover letters each time and LITERALLY NO ONE will even properly reject me, let alone give me an interview, or even a follow up email, and I am just beyond exhausted. 7 years of rejection is a lot, and it really begins to weigh you down and I am just so, so, so angry, frustrated, and tired.
“You Don’t Own Me” (feat. G-Eazy): Grace
Spend the day shopping and buying things to distract yourself from your ongoing existential crisis! It was a nice day tbh.
Cleopatra: The Lumineers
“I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.”
Mary Anne Radmacher
Lie in bed after you’re awake because getting up doesn’t really matter. Write this post instead of searching for jobs because you know you’ll just get rejected again. Try to decide on lunch but you don’t have a car so you have to eat whatever is leftover in the house from dinner. Try to keep going.
15,000+ words of my novella are written, but I cannot, for the life of me, get back into writing it, and it makes me so frustrated. I really hope I can get that motivation back soon.
Feeling bad about myself because I’m back living at home after grad school while I job hunt. Feeling bad about myself because I don’t even get rejected for jobs I apply to, I just never hear back from them. Feeling bad because I have no motivation to even leave the house, because this town, and quite frankly this state, is so…pathetic. I need to be where people are, where life happens, far away from this town where nothing has ever happened before, and never will.
And I’m currently watching “Man on Wire” on Netflix. A life.